72

the evenings that he drops me home
oh those depressing winter evenings when there's traffic
and
our energy is gone
but
all i want is another traffic light
so i can stare at you and not worry about a damn thing
the moment i close the door car and walk in the driveway
it kills me
it just does
i am at a point that i want to live with you
but it wont happen
i rather not think about it
and have a large bowl of ice cream
yeah ...

71

یعنی میشه همه اینروزهای سردگرمی رابطه مون سر و سامون بگیره ؟
که تو تمام و کمال بشی مال من
که نخوام جلوی احساساتم و بگیرم
که حق دوست داشتنت و داشته باشم
که وقتی دلم میخواد بهت بگم دوست دارم
بهت بگم که عاشقتم و تو هم بپذیری
نه که مسول و نگران احساستم باشی
که دیگه من و دوره یی نخوای
من و برای همیشه بخوای
همونطوری که من تورو همه جور و همیشه و توی همه ی شرایط خواستم

70

you kiss my hands .
 my tiny hand in your palm
   i touch your wrist and count the beats
       your  gentle kisses on my forehead

butterflies all over my stomach

69

feeling so strange sitting in my studio
three am
and
i feel so strange and sick
i have to wake up in three hours
seems like everything runs in threes now days
t r e e s

67

you're back to me
and words cannot describe how i feel again .

68

the year i was born .
numbers...
it's eight thirty eight am
my essay is due in less than three hours
and
i am confused
and
stressed
i just want it done .

66

[whiskey , bahman and peymanyazdanian]
strange feelings
i stopped it
its strange how you can love someone so much and the next second " boom "
its gone !
i just dont understand the whole point of love
i mean everything is changeable
if everything can change
he was right
if people can fade away so easy from each other's eyes
then how can someone trust loving
i guess you just have to take the risk
but what if i dont want to go through the harm and pain ?
what if i want to live my life alone and not stress about someone else's feelings and emotions ?
what if i am scared of commitment and responsibilities ?
strange yet exciting and time consuming lol

65

i just miss writing

miss being creative when i was able to just transfer every little thing that would happen in my head to my hands .

its hard when you stop for a while 

you stop to express 

you rather have a photo image 

but that doesnt work for you since im getting very forgetful 

I mean i'm getting as bad that i don't even want to write any essays anymore . 

i'll get to  the habit again ...